Top Chef: Season 5, Episode 13

Bam! That’s Some Good Gumbo

Previously: Stefan talks about Hosea’s balls, some major chefs come for one final dinner, and Fabio takes the win despite breaking a finger in a still undisclosed way. Lazy Leah finally goes home … or does she???

We’re in the home stretch and the show has moved to New Orleans as we get ready for the finale when someone wins the title of … TOP CHEF.

Opening scenes are all about NOLA, so that apparently means river boats and lots of references to booze. (Oh. My. Gawd, I just came back from a food event in San Francisco that was in honor of Cocktail Week, and now I’m slightly buzzed while watching this episode. So my apologies ahead of time if I’ve skipped some things because my mind is moving much slower than the TV.)

Big Ho is the first to arrive in the Big Easy. Then he’s followed by Monkey Ass Fabio, who is wearing an extremely bright pink scarf and has don a new haircut that looks kind of like a Mohawk but not spiky enough to make it apparent. (Me no likey.) Carla Top also has a new ‘do that’s more straight and actually makes her look younger. She’s still her crazy self as she dances to some jazz band at the airport. The New Orleans Airport must ROCK!

Stefan is the last to arrive and his haircut is the same (wink) but I think he’s gained some weight. After the fake hugs and kisses, they jump into an SUV and head to the Houmas House, which is some big ole’ plantation with beautiful gardens. Standing there to greet them are Padma, Chef Tom and Emeril Lagasse. You can’t come to New Orleans without seeing Emeril, like you can’t go to the Vatican without kissing the Pope’s ring.

Quickfire challenge. Padma tells the four cheftestants they can take it easy in the Big Easy (LOL, I don’t know why that’s so funny right now) because they’re not going to be competing in the quickfire. Instead, out comes Jamie, Jeff the Hair and Lazy Leah (she’s like a bad habit you just can’t kick!). They all get a second chance to get back into the game by coming up with a dish using crawfish.

The three are cooking at makeshift tables in front of the plantation, and have a whole hour which is like the longest quickfire in the history of Top Chef. Oh, I think I just heard Lazy Leah sigh.

So this episode is all about Creole cooking, which means lots of talk about crawfish, grits, gumbo, andouille sausages and anything they can deep fry.

Let’s do the tasting already. They start with Jeff, who made crawfish and grits with andouille sausage and beer. The judges don’t really say anything, except Emeril asks each of them if they’ve cooked with crawfish. Does it really matter? How does it taste?!

Jamie, who actually smiled the most I’ve seen in this episode compared to the season so far, made a griddle corn cake with poached eggs and something called tasso.

Lazy Leah made gumbo, which is kind of surprising to do in one hour.

Emeril congratulates all three, but he chooses … you’ll find out after the break. Hey, no one takes Ryan Seacrest’s job, not even you Emeril.

Commercials. Either the commercials are so repetitive or I’m so tired because all I want is a hamburger to balance off my buzz that I’m skipping recapping the commercials tonight.

So Emeril chooses Jeff the Hair the winner of the quickfire. Yeah! I love Jeff, and his hair! I’m glad he’s back. But Padma says that while he will compete in the elimination challenge, he has to win it in order to move on to the finale, not just come in second or third. Dang, that’s harsh. I LOVE YOU MAN, YOU’VE GOT TO WIN. Oh, Jeff also wins a copy of Emeril’s new book and Jeff seems sincerely honored to get one while I on the other hand is thinking Emeril, is that all you got? I guess you’re not doing so well after the Food Network canceled your contract? Geez, I just realized I’m kind of a mean drunk sometimes.

The cheftestants, now with Jeff the Hair, head to their hotel and then they get ready for dinner at Emeril’s Delmonico restaurant. When they arrive, Jeff finally looks happy and his hair looks especially shiny and nice. I’m kind of mesmerized by it right now.

This segment is all about the cheftestants’ head and their thoughts about why they want to win. Fabio talks about his sick mom again and how he needs to help her, Carla Top talks about her husband and step son, and Stefan and Hosea are fighting about what’s French cuisine. What losers. OH. Geez. Did you see that? The moon just exploded into the sun. That’s some crazy shit.

The next morning they head to this warehouse with all these crazy floats and dummies with really big heads and eyes. Padma and Emeril are there and Padma says this is the Mardi Gras floats place or something and something else about Orpheus. All I know is there’s a masquerade ball that they have to cater and I don’t see why they were in this warehouse in the first place. It’s not like the party is going to be there. I think it was just a trick to throw in some Mardi Gras reference. Oh, they each have to make two dishes and a cocktail! Yeah, COCKTAILS! I want more!! (I bet you’re all wondering where I went huh? Read my post on Saturday.)

Oh, I guess they had to go to the warehouse so they can drive in that stupid Toyota car that’s going to go to the winner of this challenge. Monkey Ass Fabio says he wants that car, not for his sick mom, but because his car “is a piece of poo-ooh.” Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be driving around a car made of poo-ooh either.

The cheftestants head back to Emeril’s Delmonico restaurant to create their dishes. They can use anything in his kitchen, so no running off to Whole Foods for shopping.

Carla Top decides to make an oyster stew, but all the oysters in the kitchen are still in their shells, which means she has to shuck them. And she says she only shucked her first oyster a week ago. Now she has to shuck 100. Good shuck, Carla!

Monkey Ass Fabio is making a variety of stuff, including something called a maque choux, which I’ve never heard of. Jeff the Hair is sweating so his hair doesn’t look as sexy as it did earlier in this episode.

Big Ho and Stefan are both making gumbo, but Hosea at least seems to be putting in more effort. He says you have to cook the roux for a long time until it darkens like its burnt. Gosh, I never realized that about gumbo. Stefan, on the other hand, is either going to get water or going for a smoke.

Chef Tom comes in and visits each one of them. Outside, he gives a mini report saying he doesn’t think Fabio is really doing Creole as much as he’s doing Italian, Jeff should be comfortable coming from the south, Carla should have just steamed the oysters and let the shell pop (Oh. My. Gawd, that’s such a good idea. She really should have done that.), and he thinks Stefan is cocky confident, or maybe he said confidently cocky.

Yum, Fabio brings out these really huge muffaletta bread he baked. Carla Top is still shucking oysters. She’ll probably still be shucking them in the finale at this rate.

The cheftestants arrive at the New Orleans Museum of Art to set up their stations for the party. Their bartenders also arrive and they give their instructions on how to mix their drinks. Stefan goes for a smoke break.

The judges arrive wearing masks and all dressed in black. Then Padma introduces Gail Simmons! She’s back and married, I guess. I guess that’s it for Toby Young. It was just a few weeks and then back across the pond for that chap, cherrio mate!

Jeff the Hair is asking Carla Top for two cups of cream, and then Hosea is looking for a whisk. Carla Top’s all like, “just like typical men always asking for my help but not coming over and offering to shuck some of my oysters.” Stefan says “I’ll be there in a second honey” but I’m pretty sure he went for another smoke break.

The guests start to arrive all dressed up and Fabio makes a comment of how it reminds him of some porn movie. I think that’s what he said. I can’t really tell with his accent, and you know it’s even worse when you’re drunk. Or when I’m drunk, I mean. Oh whateves, where are the subtitles when we need them?!

The judges visit Jeff the Hair first, and try his cucumber mojito (sounds refreshing but not very original). He also makes fried oyster with sausage and arugula and a crawfish pot de crème. Emeril calls Jeff a refined cook.

At Stefan’s table, they drink a black cherry and rum cocktail. For food he made creamy grits with duck, rabbit and, wait, I typed here gum but I’m pretty sure it’s not. Oh, who cares, I think the judges just liked the creamy grits part. Then he made an apple beignet which looks pretty with the powdered sugar. Oh wait, the gum was supposed to say gumbo. You know, it’s hard recapping under the influence. People, do not drink and recap! Find a designated recapper before you go out drinking.

Monkey Ass is flirting with some married woman, and then the judges arrive to try his Trinitini, which has macerated red bell pepper. I don’t really know how you macerate a red bell pepper but it doesn’t sound good. He also makes sausage and rabbit maque choux and homemade casercci pasta with crawfish. Gail likes the crawfish flavor in the pasta, and Tom and Emeril think the maque choux is missing heat.

A woman in the crowd is yelling “hootie” at Carla. I guess she thinks she’s lost at the grocery store. Carla says she’s having a lot of fun so the food must taste good because you know her whole theory of sending out the love with the food. She made a shrimp and andouille sausage beignet and oyster stew. Tom is in love with the stew, and it’s the first time I think I’ve seen him love a dish.

Big Ho is cooking and trying to keep up with the crowd who just grabs the food as it’s plated. Hosea makes his version of a Hurricane using blood oranges and then made chicken and andouille gumbo and a pecan-crusted Louisiana catfish. Emeril loves Hosea’s gumbo, which is very traditional.

Everyone’s passing out beads and looks like Fabio and Jeff the Hair have the most beads. Big Ho looks kind of pathetic with his beads. Maybe he should have flashed someone.

Ugh, this is an extra long episode. What’s with these long episodes? It can drive any man to drinking! ;-)

At the judge’s table, they do the typical evaluation one by one, and it’s all so repetitive of the same comments they were making when they were trying the food, so I’m going to fast-forward past this section and get to the deliberations after the cheftestants leave the room.

It sounds like everyone did really well, but the leaders really seem to be Jeff the Hair, Carla Top and Big Ho. I think everyone was turned off, as they should be, by Stefan’s attitude and Fabio came off too Monkey Ass Italian. Tom realizes that Jeff needs to win this to stay and you can tell Tom would like to see Jeff in the finale but realizes he might not have been the clear winner for the evening. This is going to be a tough call.

When the cheftestants come back in, Emeril names the winner and it’s Carla! All that shucking paid off. Now she has a brand new car!

So that means Jeff won’t go to the finale since he didn’t do quite good enough. Too bad, I think he would have made it interesting cooking southern food in New Orleans. Bye Jeff. I LOVE YOU MAN! Let’s go get a cucumber mojito at South Beach! You know what sounds better than a mojito right about now? A hamburger. Do you crave hamburgers when you’re drunk? I always do for some reason. I wish I had meat in the freezer. But then it would be frozen, stupid. Ugh, it’s hard being drunk in Oakland.

Tom tells Hosea that he did well so he’s guaranteed for the finale and he leaves. That just leaves the two Euro brothers. Tom tells Stefan to his face that he was cocky and Fabio was too traditional. Padma then says ciao to Fabio. Oh, no. I would have sent Stefan home. Fabio tells Stefan that he has to win this now or “I’ll kick your ass.” No pressure.

Monkey Ass says Stefan is going to win, because now that he’s out, Stefan is the clear winner, because he believes this is the year of the Euro Top Chef. As for him, he’s going back to his busy LA restaurant and cook until the monkey asses go home. And we’re not done with him because “you going to see me very soon, beeg time.”

Whew! That’s it! Next week it’s the finale and thankfully my last recap for awhile. Now, I’m off to find me a hamburger!

“Top Chef: New York” finale airs next Wednesday at 10 p.m. (9 p.m. Central) on Bravo TV. Photos courtesy of Bravo TV’s Web site.

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Dish on Dining: Quan Ngon – Pho Ha Noi -- CLOSED

Tasty Pho to Chase Winter Chills
UPDATED 12/29/09: This restaurant closed down in early 2009.
726 Clement St. (between 8th and 9th), San Francisco
Richmond neighborhood
PH.: 415.668.8896
Open daily for lunch and dinner
Major credit cards accepted, no reservations

This is the best time to get Asian soup noodles, and one of my favorites as some of you know is the Vietnamese pho. When in San Francisco, you might think I’d go to the Little Saigon district in the Tenderloin, but I rarely find myself in that neighborhood for any other reasons.

So I was excited to discover Quan Ngon Vietnamese Noodle House on Clement Street, aka “second Chinatown” or “new Chinatown.” It’s a much more convenient spot to get a warm bowl of pho because it’s right across the street from one of my regular Asian grocery stores, the New May Wah.

First off, let’s dispense with the issue about the name. For some reason, some people have referred to this restaurant as Pho Ha Noi. But the storefront says Quan Ngon. On their menus, they have both names. My suspicion (I know, I really should have confirmed with the wait staff) is that the place is called Quan Ngon and Pho Ha Noi refers to the northern-style pho dishes they offer (Hanoi is in North Vietnam opposite of Ho Chi Minh City in the south.) So I’m just going to refer to this place as Quan Ngon from here on out.

Walking into Quan Ngon, you can tell right away that this isn’t your normal pho noodle joint. The décor is fresh and contemporary, almost like a Chinese furniture showroom with its sparkling lacquered furniture and brightly colored walls. The dining area has several tables and a flat-screen TV in the back.

Pho is more a specialty of south Vietnam, so Quan Ngon’s pho offerings are limited, with only seven choices compared to the full page you sometimes find at other pho restaurants. Along with your typical rare beef pho, there were some Chinese-influenced dishes such as the duck with preserved vegetables pho.

On my first visit, I ordered the Pho Tai/Bo Vien or Rare Beef and Beef Balls pho ($6.95 for the large). At Quan Ngon, the beef pho is served without an accompanying dish of bean sprouts and basil. They do bring a tiny dish of jalapeno peppers and lime to spice up your pho, but they probably want you to just savor the broth as is because it really is delicious.

I guess northern-style pho uses more the wide flat rice noodles, which some people enjoy and I generally do not. I’m a big fan of the southern-style noodles that are almost transparent. Still, the way Quan Ngon cooked their noodles to al dente consistency was spot on, making me a convert of the flat noodles when done right.

My big bowl of beef pho had tender thin slices of beef and several beef balls. (I have yet to find a pho shop that serves tender beef balls, so the fact that the beef balls here were dense and rubbery wasn’t a big surprise.) The overall dish was enjoyable, especially the depth of flavors in the broth. It really hit the spot on a cold day.

I returned a second time because I was curious about the rest of the menu. There were a couple of banh minh sandwiches and several specialty dishes. But I decided to try the Bun Thit Nuong or BBQ Pork with Vermicelli ($6.75). Bun dishes are another classic Vietnamese dish but the noodles are served without the soup and are dressed in the ubiquitous fish sauce.

I like to order this dish as a baseline marker of a Vietnamese restaurant because the key is how good they marinate their BBQ pork. At Quan Ngon, their pork was disappointing. While thinly sliced the way I like them, they were on the dark side, signaling the fact that they were probably cooked too long and were saltier in taste.

The polarizing experiences from my two visits had me torn about Quan Ngon. So I returned one more time, just so that I could enjoy the pho broth once more. This time I ordered the Bun Rieu pho ($6.25 for a small bowl), which is Crab Meat and Tomato pho.

For this pho, the server brought out a tiny plate of basil leaves and shredded cabbage. There was also a dollop of Vietnamese shrimp paste, which is pungent by itself but not so bad when mixed into your broth.

The pho looked appetizing but the ingredients weren’t as advertised—or at least not what I expected. Instead of crab meat, I tasted something that might have been minced crab paste made into balls. The broth had the nice coloring from the tomatoes, but I didn’t detect that sweet crab flavor, which is a shame being in San Francisco during crab season.

Still, I enjoyed my Bun Rieu. Not as much as my beef pho, which had a nice clean flavor, but it was still satisfying. Just don’t order it thinking you’ll get any real crab meat.

Quan Ngon doesn’t have an extensive menu, but it does do pho well. Its open dining room and clean environment makes it one of the more fancier pho shops in town—a place you could bring an out-of-town guest or just warm yourself on a cold winter day.

Single guy rating: 3.25 stars (Go for the pho)

Explanation of the single guy's rating system:
1 star = perfect for college students
2 stars = perfect for new diners
3 stars = perfect for foodies
4 stars = perfect for expense accounts
5 stars = perfect for any guy's dream dinner

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Hippies and Liberals at the Berkeley Farmers' Market

I don't go to the same farmers' market every week, although I go to some more than others (love the Ferry Plaza market and my Temescal neighborhood market is just so close). One that I don't get to too often is the Berkeley Farmers' Market, which has been around for many years and where Chez Panisse's Alice Waters would often shop at in the early years.

I'm surprised sometimes when I mention the market to friends and they're not familiar with when it is or where it is. So I was at the market a couple of weekends ago and decided to do a photo feature for those of you who may not have shopped at this urban farmers' market or may not have been there for awhile.

The market takes place every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on a one block stretch on Center Street between Martin Luther King Jr. Way and Milvia Streets. (It's just one block east of the Berkeley Downtown BART station.)

Not surprisingly, there are amazing fresh vegetables, and I was really amazed at these interesting colored carrots. They don't seem like heirloom carrots (which are different colors like purple or yellow) but sure were colorful.

I spotted these two large jars at the Fatted Calf booth. I almost took a second take thinking they were Chinese sausages, or lap cheong, that I blogged about recently. But of course, they weren't although they were similar in shape. They're actually mini sausages that they market as easy-to-eat snacks, almost like beef jerky. One is more sweet while the other is more peppery. I tried the sweet one (on the left), which cost $2.50 each and it was pretty good. Very easy to bite into (and lots of pockets of fat for those of you who like that in their salumi) but I wouldn't describe it as sweet, but definitely good.

This is a booth I haven't seen before. It's this guy who sells specialty coffee that's brewed in an unsual way. At his booth he had this beautiful display of this coffee pot.

But this is how he makes your cup of coffee with this special brewer with the big flames. I'm not a coffee drinker so I didn't order a cup, but it was sure fun to watch.

Amazingly beautiful color on these kabocha squash.

Of course, being at Berkeley there were recycling containers every where, which I think is great. I've been to some farmers' market where the trash can isn't very visible. So I like how the containers are easy to spot and the recycling clearly marked.

The Frog Hollow Farm display. I thought it was so interesting how the jars of spreads and chutney were displayed like an art exhibit.

OK, so I was just having some fun in my headline when I said there were hippies and liberals at the market (it's not like they wear their labels on their jackets in Berkeley, but you know they're there). But I did spot a lot of people carrying off these huge trays of wheat grass. They love their wheat grass in Berkeley.

Berkeley Farmers' Market, Center and Milvia Streets, downtown Berkeley, Saturday, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. For list of vendors, click here.

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Grand Lake Farmers' Market: Waffle Mania Truck

After working out at the gym on Saturday mornings, I walk across the street to check out the Grand Lake Farmers' Market in Oakland. And the last few times I've been there, I've noticed the waffle truck!

This mobile waffle vendor known as Waffle Mania sells Belgian-style waffles from this truck, which originally started at the Marin County farmers market and has traveled to the San Francisco Civic Center and now Grand Lake in Oakland. And I'm so glad it's made it to my hood.

Here's the Waffle Man. I just call him Waffle Man because he was the only guy in the truck, making and selling the waffles. Waffle Mania is a partnership of three people, including this guy, and they're the only U.S. distributor of a special Belgian batter created by a Belgian company called So Good.

Here's my waffle. The waffle truck sells the waffles plain or powdered for $3.50 each. (If you buy four, it's just $3 each.) I heard that in the past you could get toppings on them, but now it's just really simple so that cuts down on the plates and utensils. And you know what? This doesn't need any toppings at all! It was so good on its own, with crunchy edges and a chewy, soft interior. Since it's made fresh, you want to get one early when you see the truck so that it'll be nice and warm as you eat it.

My advice if you order the powdered waffle, be sure to eat it upwind so that the powdered sugar doesn't blow on you as you're walking and eating. That's just my Valentines' Day tip to you! :)

The Waffle Mania mobile truck is parked at the Grand Lake Farmers Market on Saturdays and the San Francisco Civic Center farmers market on Wednesdays. It's also at the Marin County and San Rafael farmers markets.

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Top Chef: Season 5, Episode 12

The Last Supper

Previously: Stefan nails the fresh water eel challenge, Jamie gets frustrated with her salty celery, and Stefan wins again. Jamie and her salty celery are sent packin’.

The opening scenes are so frustrating to me, at times. And I know it’s partly because I heart NY so I want it to represent. But instead the editors give us seconds of cacophonic scenes that are partly touristy, partly blatant product placement. Take for example this week where they show a sunset scene, and then it’s bright as day with the Statue of Liberty. It’s like the editors don’t care anymore and are just slapping images together on their iBook. It is just going to be one of those episodes.

The cheftestants are still reeling from Jamie’s departure, saying that someone as talented as her being cut means any little slip up will mean the axe. Big Ho was especially harsh, though, saying Jamie “knew what she did wrong.” To me, that’s the kind of comments from people who think they’re teachers but aren’t. Like in school when you get a timeout and the teacher’s all “you know what you did wrong” and really all you wanted to do was eat glue.

Carla Top, who we find out was a former model back in the day, is doing some weird clapping cheer for Stefan. “You can do it, you can do it.” What does she want him to do? Stop smoking? Yeah, good luck with that.

Quickfire challenge. The final five walk into the Top Chef kitchen and it’s like Easter with all those baskets of eggs. Standing with Padma is Chef Wylie Dufresne with his signature Dutch boy haircut. Anyone who’s watched any episode of any food show on TV knows this is the molecular gastronomy wizard, or food nerd. So some of the cheftestants are shitting in their pants thinking that they have to shit through some weird ass chemical challenge.

Turns out, all they have to do is cook up some eggs because Chef Dufresne is a freak about eggs and especially breakfast. “Proper egg cookery is a sign of a good chef,” he says, but all I can think is egg cookery is a piece of croc.

They have one hour to whip up an innovative egg dish so they rush off and start cooking. Big Ho is sweating up a storm. Someone needs to pad that bald head down.

Carla Top, in the meantime, says she and molecular gastronomy is like oil and water so she’s not doing anything fancy and instead is going the “green eggs and ham” route ala Dr. Seuss. (How many other cheftestants have done this in previous seasons, Sam I Am?)

While everyone’s running around all over the place, Carla Top is moving slowly and compares herself to the tortoise in the race, going steady until she eventually wins it all. You know, with those glasses she does kind of reminds me of a tortoise.

The tasting:

EU Stefan made savory and sweet eggs benedict that Chef Wylie says is “very clever.”

Lazy Leah did a quail egg wrapped with potato and caviar and then a brioche with ricotta and eggs. “Very nice,” is all Chef Wylie says.

Carla Top shows off her green eggs and ham using spinach and salsa. Padma says it’s very pretty and Chef Wylie agrees. (On a side note, this past weekend I watched “Horton Hears a Who” and I have to say, Dr. Seuss, you’re a philosophical genius. The adult messages dressed up in candy cane pastels and weird elf-like creatures are awe-inspiring. “A person’s a person no matter how small.” Damn right!)

Big Ho dishes out his trio of Japanese egg dinner starting with a faux sushi roll wrapped in egg whites instead of seaweed, then a poached shrimp with avocado and finally a tempura egg salad. Chef Wylie comments that the egg white roll is a “neat” idea but was not as “eggy.”

Monkey Ass does a trio as well, starting with a sunny side egg two ways (one made with panna cotta) and an egg shell with lychee juice. Chef Wylie does some nerdspeak with Fabio, and Monkey Ass says “of course” in the same way he’s like “I know what I’m talking about.”

In the end, Chef Wylie wasn’t impressed by Monkey Ass’ creations, saying it wasn’t really an egg dish as much as it was dessert. Monkey Ass isn’t happy. In fact, he’s so upset that he talks in such a high pitched voice that I think only dogs heard him, but I was able to detect something along the lines of “I’m in the frickin’ bottom … for what?”

Chef Wylie also wasn’t impressed by Big Ho’s Japanese trio, saying the components didn’t flow from one to the other, and Lazy Leah’s potato ravioli was heavy and greasy.

That means he liked Carla Top’s playful and humorous green eggs and ham (although it didn’t look that funny to me) and Stefan’s strong techniques in his dish. Then he names Carla Top the winner, which is a shock because Stefan finally doesn’t win a quickfire. (It also proves that despite all the urgings by Tom Collichio that the cheftestants be innovative and think out of the box, in the end simple and classic always prevail. Which kind of goes counter to the whole purpose of Wylie Dufresne’s cooking.)

Elimination challenge. The cheftestants pull knives and Monkey Ass goes first, pulling out Lydia Bastianich, who of course he recognizes as the premier Italian chef. Big Ho pulls out someone named Susan Ungaro, and you know by the expression on his face that he doesn’t know who she is, but then the producers probably coached him because in his voiceover he explains that Ungaro is the president of the James Beard Foundation. Stefan pulls Chef Marcus Sammuelson, Lazy Leah gets Wylie Dufresne, and Carla Top pulls Jacques Pepin, who next to the late Julia Childs is the grand emperor of French cuisine.

Padma explains that their challenge is to make the “last meal” of the chef they pulled and then she names the dishes. And I’ve always found this food game (it was inspired by a book that asks chefs the exact same question) very intriguing, wondering what amazing meal people would want to eat. Then I heard the rundown and I thought, is that what these famous chefs want as their dying dish? Come on!

Jacques Pepin: Roast squab and fresh peas

Marcus Samuelson: Roasted salmon with spinach

Susan Ungaro: Shrimp scampi

Lydia Bastianich: Roast chicken and roasted potatoes

Wylie Dufresne: Eggs benedict

See what I mean? They could eat this every night of their living days and they want it served to them on their last night on earth? Call me crazy but I think these chefs have eaten one too many elegant dishes at the French Laundry and now they’re rebelling for something simple and classic. As for me, my last meal would be the following:

1) Fried oysters because I don’t eat fried foods and oysters have a lot of cholesterol, but when I’m dying, I don’t care, so bring it on baby! Plump oysters fried up in a batter and served with a sprinkling of salt and pepper and a squeeze of lemon. For seconds I’d have the fried oysters served up in a po boy sandwich.

2) A cheesecake from Junior’s in Brooklyn because cheesecake is the first dessert I ate that was so good I got teary-eyed thinking that life doesn’t get any better than a creamy but dense cheesecake from Junior’s.

Now that’s a last meal. Hopefully I won’t be eating it anytime soon, though.

As the winner of the quickfire, Carla Top can swap her dish with anyone else, and come on, who’s going to give up the chance to make Jacques Pepin’s last meal? Carla Top’s no fool despite what her crazy big eyes are saying. So she sticks with her dish because Pepin wants peas and she’s like this (making hand motion with two fingers stuck together, but not like a gang sign) with the peas.

Commercials. Ugh, dang Chevron. My TV was all quiet and nice and all of a sudden it blasted super loud when this commercial came on. Just proves again how those damn oil companies are controlling every part of our lives! That’s jacked up.

For our mini-Top Chef clip, the five cheftestants go out to dinner at Perilla, which is the successful New York restaurant of Season 1 winner Harold Dieterle (who was my favorite from that season as well). They eat and chat about boring nonsense of how hard it is being on the show, and I get sentimental for the days of the stupid Big Ho and Lazy Leah flirting because at least they were more dramatic than these time-sucking clips.

The cheftestants rush into Whole Foods to do their shopping and nothing really happens except:

1) Stefan gets excited finding organic European butter and he happily shares that with Fabio, who basically tells him “not tonight honey.”

2) Big Ho continues to suffer from Stefan envy and bashes him some more. Then Stefan pays him back by referencing his balls.

3) Lazy Leah needs to ask a worker where to find the eggs when she probably shopped at this Whole Foods for, like, 10 different episodes already. This girl is lazy.

The cheftestants arrive at the Capitale restaurant, which I’ve never heard of before but looks like a library. As they’re cooking, everyone’s playing their dishes straightforward because, well, these are pretty simple, straightforward dishes. (How I wish someone asked for a duck l’orange.) But Big Ho is the only one who’s trying to do something different with his shrimp scampi, which I don’t blame him because why would he want to compare his food to the Olive Garden?

Then the infamous crash, and we see Monkey Ass with blood all over one of his finger. And he explains in his accent that his pinkie finger got pulled all the way back to the point that it broke. Now I can see spraining a finger, but actually breaking it? What exactly did he do? We never really find out. A production assistant taped up his hand to stabilize the finger and then asks if he wants to go to the emergency room, and thus we get our Fabio quote of the week: “I’ll chop (his finger) off and sear it on the flat top and deal with it tomorrow.” Way to man up, Monkey Ass.

Commercials. Oh my, did you see that Diet Dr. Pepper commercial where the cupcake comes out from the vending machine? Love it. Not loving the soda. Oh, that Lays commercial with the round green dots looked like an M&M commercial at first. I’m getting all my snack foods confused now.

It’s one hour until service and Carla Top is firing up Monkey Ass, telling him “fight it out, Rocky.” Then we see a frustrated Fabio trying to peel potatoes with one hand. I do feel kind of sorry for him, and he’s feeling really dejected about now, hence the second most amazing Fabio quote of the week: “I got so many kick in my ass sometime in the bathroom I still pull shoes out of my ass.”

Big Ho’s still not loving making the shrimp scampi, and he’s talking about his last meal, which would be a BLT. Again, I don’t know if these chefs understand the concept. Why would you request your last meal be something that you’ve probably eaten a lot your entire life?! Loser.

Chef Tom Colicchio arrives but he doesn’t do his usual chat with everyone around the kitchen. Instead he basically says four words: “please don’t embarrass me.”

With that, the judges and guests arrive at the “Last Supper” table with that ghost-lighting to make everyone look like they’re already dead even before eating.

First up is Lazy Leah, who dishes out her eggs benedict. She feels her hollandaise sauce is too thick, so she thins it out. She serves it with a slow-poached egg and salad of mixed greens.

Chef Wylie feels the egg whites were too watery, but the bacon is nice. Still, he feels that on his last day on earth, he could do without the salad. Chef Pepin feels the hollandaise sauce needed to be thicker (oops), and Toby Young, seated off to one end of the table kind of hidden away, says he rather enjoys his whites runny, so he’s got no complaints about the dish. (Those English!)

Next is Stefan, who’s cooking for Chef Samuelson, whom he recognizes is from Sweden and Stefan says Swedish people love their fish simple with a dill sauce. He says he didn’t know how he wanted the spinach prepared, so he prepared it two ways: one just sautéed and the other creamy.

Chef Samuelson says Stefan hit it on the nose in preparing the fish very Swedish-like, but everyone agrees that their salmon is over-roasted (which is really odd given so much fat is in that fish that you can hardly over cook salmon, but I guess there’s always a first).

Big Ho comes out to serve his shrimp scampi with tomato provencal (which is a breaded whole tomato). Chef Pepin says he didn’t cook from his guts because the tomato looked timid and not seared on top. Most others didn’t have any nice comment, and Susan Ungaro, who requested this last dish, says she likes her scampi more garlicky.

In the kitchen, one-handed Monkey Ass is slaughtering his roast chicken because he can’t carve with one hand. Everyone loves the tender chicken, however, and Lydia Bastianich says she was glad the chicken was simple, just like how she likes it.

Finally comes Carla Top, who is all “Lord have mercy I’m so feeling the pressure please give me strength to carry out this little squab to the table. Praise Jesus.” She says she cut the squab early because she was worried about the time, but under the heat lamp you know there’s going to be issues about it being over cooked. I love squab and I think you can’t go wrong as long as the skin is super seared.

Everyone raves about the tarragon peas that Carla Top served on the side, and there’s a division about whether the squab was over cooked or just right, and Chef Tom turns it into a generational thing saying the young chefs like it rare while the old schoolers like it tough and cooked. Chef Pepin says the peas are so tender like butter that he could die happy, which is really not a good joke for an old chef like him to say given how they probably had a paramedic standing by for him because he’s like, what, 105? (You just know Julia Childs is calling out for him in heaven. “Jacques, Jacques, I need you to help me with this pork loin. The angels are non-stop eaters.”)

All the cheftestants are relieved, and Big Ho is so happy about having cooked for this crowd that he’s near tears. Cry baby.

Commercials. Alltel, don’t bother getting me to switch. I don’t understand your commercial at all.

In the stew room, Monkey Ass is making one last dig to Lazy Leah, saying something about how this isn’t “Top Pussy.” I wonder how many of this he can come up with. For Stefan, “This isn’t Top Asshole.” For Big Ho Hosea, “This isn’t Top Seafood Guy.” For Carla Top, “This isn’t Top Tortoise.”

Padma comes in and her body screams for a sweater (wink) and invites all of the cheftestants to the judges’ table. They go over each dish, and I have to say that, not surprisingly, Chef Pepin had a lot of things to say, and many of them on the mark given others’ comments.

For Lazy Leah, he tells her the texture of the eggs needed more cooking, and the hollandaise sauce needs to be thicker. Lazy Leah admits to thinning it out right before serving, and already in her face you can tell she’s going home because she seems really happy with the fact that she can finally recognize something she did wrong, but still it’s wrong. (Big Ho is whispering in her ears, “you know what you did wrong.”)

For Stefan, everyone agrees that the salmon was overcooked and Padma says the spinach two ways was really spinach one way because the creamed spinach bled into the other regular spinach, making it all a creamy mess. Stefan is sweating and he may be in the bottom yet again.

Tom says Susan liked Big Ho’s scampi but wanted more broken butter oil. Chef Pepin says the shrimp was well cooked but the tomato provencal was too refined and needed to be more rustic. Then Big Ho says something about how he never puts anything ugly onto his plate.

Monkey Ass Fabio asks if his idol Lydia B. liked his roast chicken and they tell him she did and he’s all smiles. But Tom says the side salad was boring, and Padma reminds him that Chef Dufresne called it airline food.

For Carla, she kept it simple but the squab was overcooked, says Tom. But Chef Pepin says that if you ate the dish blind, you wouldn’t know the squab was overcooked because it was still tender in texture. Of course, they loved the peas, which Carla Top says she freshly shelled that day.

They’re dismissed and Lazy Leah is like a little girl who just got her first cooking lesson and is all excited that everyone took the time to explain to her about peanut butter. She’s all like, “this is fun. One more time, please.”

The judges talk more and you can tell Carla Top and Fabio are safe, and then Chef Tom shows his bias as he tries to argue for cheftestants who have done well so far this season but not this episode, namely Stefan who really should have gone for ruining salmon. In the stew room, Stefan and Big Ho are teasing Monkey Ass about the airline food comment, calling him “airplane bitch.” That’s not very nice, and Monkey Ass doesn’t look pleased.

After the break, it’s judgment time. Chef Tom says it was a unanimous decision on the winner, and Chef Pepin names Monkey Ass the winner and he gets a big ass bottle of Terlato wine and a guided tour of the Terlato family vineyard in Napa Valley.

Chef Tom tells Carla Top that her peas were perfection, and dismisses both Fabio and Carla who are headed to New Orleans. Carla does her impersonation of a tortoise again, moving slo mo and she’s all “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!”

Chef Tom goes over why each of the remaining three’s dishes just weren’t right, and how only two more slots are left on the plane to New Orleans. Then Padma sends Lazy Leah packin’, finally!

“It’s all good,” she says, as she shakes the judges’ hands. She says she’s made a lot of friends and they cut to her getting a big ole hug from Big Ho. She says she learned a lot but she wished she could have cooked better food than what she did on the show. But she was lazy so she knows better.

Back in the stew room, the final four are celebrating and then we get the oddest quote from Fabio this episode: “Tonight we drink in hell.” Huh?? Why would anyone want to drink in hell? Maybe it’s an Italian thing, but I’m pretty sure Stefan is spooked and Carla Top is yelling out “hootie.”

Next: It’s the Big Easy, so that means it’s Emeril 24/7. Fabio looks like he’s gained weight and a new hairstyle and everyone’s Stefan, Stefan, Stefan. This isn’t Top Stefan, people!

“Top Chef: New York” airs every Wednesday at 10 p.m. (9 p.m. Central) on Bravo TV. Photos courtesy of Bravo TV’s Web site.

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Dish on Dining: Beretta

Hip to Pizza and Cocktails in the Mission
1199 Valencia St. (at 23rd), San Francisco
Mission District
PH: 415.695.1199
Dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. to 1 a.m., lunch on weekends
No reservations (except for parties of 6 or larger), major credit cards accepted
www.berettasf.com

Sometimes it takes me awhile to get to a restaurant with buzz, and Beretta is one of those places. Lucky for me, it’s still a place that’s buzzing even after making its debut early last year.

Beretta is in the spot that was formerly home to The Last Supper Club, which was taken over by Beretta’s owner-chef Ruggero Gadaldi more than three years ago. Gadaldi reinvented the space into a casual but elegant restaurant that’s capitalizing on the city’s current mixology craze with its extensive cocktail menu.

Gadaldi’s Italian menu, including thin Neapolitan-style pizzas, are also drawing the crowds, which not surprisingly can be epic on Friday and Saturday nights. Which is why I checked it out on a Monday (OK, call me a wimp but I hate waiting on the weekends for dinner).

I actually was meeting my friend John Vlahides, who some of you may recall I interviewed about travel dining awhile back. John came home a few weeks ago from a trip to Morocco, where he was shooting a new TV travel show for Lonely Planet. (John will be one of several hosts of the show about off-the-beaten-path travels. For now, the new show is only scheduled to air outside of the United States.)

As I lived vicariously through John’s traveling adventures, I ordered a drink recommended by our waitress. It was called the Nuestra Paloma ($9) made with tequila, elderflower, Cointreau, grapefruit and bitters. I’m a big fan of any citrus-based drinks, and the Neustra Paloma was pretty and fresh. But I wasn’t necessarily blown away given some of the buzz about the drinks all over the Web.

Later on I ordered the Pisco Punch ($10) because Pisco is my latest favorite alcohol since this Latin staple became more readily available in the states last year. While it was mixed well, again I wasn’t floored. The lesson learned, for me, is maybe I need to venture past my favorites and try something different, like the Acadian made with rye, sloe gin, lemon, honey, absinthe and rosemary. That’s definitely on my list to try next time.

For our food, John ordered the Monday special (there’s one for every day), which was a braised pork hock, cavolo nero and polenta ($14). It looked like what you would think something called a pork hock would look like, meaning it was a chunk of meat on a bone. I tasted a bit of it and the pork hock was nice but the flavors didn’t hit any unusual notes, just solid slow-cooked pork.

I started with the Roasted Beets with Ricotta Salata ($6) from Beretta’s long list of antipasti. The small bowl of red and golden beets were covered with thinly sliced ricotta drizzled with a light vinaigrette. The ricotta slices looked almost like butterflies covering any sign of the beets.

This is a slightly better view of the beets after dishing them out from under the ricotta. The beets were tender and fresh, and the flavors very simple and clean. The ricotta was mild and added more a textural element to the dish than taste.

I also wanted to try Beretta’s famous pizzas, so I ordered the Funghi Misti pizza ($14). It was a mix of wild mushrooms with tomato, fontina and thyme. While all the flavors were good, I was struck by how incredibly thin the pizza crust was. It was almost like a flatbread cracker.

John liked how the chefs sprinkled salt around the crust, adding another dimension to the pizza. I thought it was enjoyable although I still couldn’t get past how thin the pizza was. (Really, it could almost be as thin as paper. OK, I exaggerate, but not by much.)

Wanting to try more, I decided to order another antipasti, but Beretta leans toward several deep-fried items, which I generally avoid. So instead I ordered the Monterey Sardines en Saör ($7). This is a classic Italian antipasti that marinades the sardines in vinegar. It definitely was sour, but I did enjoy the fresh and meaty sardines.

Our food came out pretty quickly as we ordered, even as the restaurant filled up (and that’s a Monday night). Some people have complained about the service during peak times, so I can’t say that I’ve tested this. But I can say that eating early at Beretta definitely gives you a chance to enjoy the ambiance and receive efficient service.

The dessert menu seemed a bit lacking, made up mostly of gelato. But John and I decided to try the Panna Gelato with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Sea Salt ($7). You might think it’s weird eating ice cream with olive oil, but I’ve mentioned before one of my favorite things to do at home is to drizzle lemon-flavored olive oil over French vanilla ice cream.

The Panna Gelato had an incredible texture and simple flavor, but I felt the scoop of gelato was sitting in way too much olive oil (yes, even for me). And the olive oil didn’t necessarily have a premium flavor. It seemed a bit generic, lacking any grassy or floral undertones.

While I definitely would go back to Beretta, it’s not the type of buzz-worthy place that I would wait an hour or more for a table (which is reportedly the case on the weekends since they don’t take reservations). Note: You can call 45 minutes before you plan to arrive at the restaurant to put your name on the waiting list.

I can see how Beretta is a fun place to meet friends and nibble and drink. There’s a huge communal table running down the center of the dining room and everyone’s in a festive mood. The price points for the dishes are excellent for the current economy (one pizza and a drink makes a perfect dinner), but I didn’t fall in love with Beretta the way others have in the food buzz world.

The dishes are all made with fresh ingredients, but the taste profiles aren’t any different than any other fine Italian restaurant. It’s a place to check out if you’re in the neighborhood, but I wouldn’t travel far or wait long despite the buzz.

Single guy rating: 3.25 stars (Clean Fresh Italian)

Explanation of the single guy's rating system:
1 star = perfect for college students
2 stars = perfect for new diners
3 stars = perfect for foodies
4 stars = perfect for expense accounts
5 stars = perfect for any guy's dream dinner

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Shuck a Buck for Oysters

Living in the Bay Area, I have access to a lot of great food all year long. Case in point: oysters. Not just limited to the months that end in “r,” good raw oysters are found any time of the year, and at some places for only $1 each.

In the current economy, $1 oysters sound pretty good right about now. But can you get them any day of the week? I decided to test this theory out as I recently went hunting for $1 oysters around the Bay Area (OK, mostly in San Francisco and near my home in Oakland). Come along for the ride, won’tcha?

Monday: Hog Island Oyster Co.
Location: One Ferry Building (north end), San Francisco
PH: 415.391.7117
Web site: www.hogislandoysters.com
Time available: Mondays and Thursdays, 5 to 7 p.m.
What I ordered: A dozen oysters and a draft Pilsener
Total* paid: $15.50

Why not start the week off with the best? Hog Island Oyster Co. has gained the reputation of producing the freshest-tasting oysters locally. (Their farm is in the beautiful Tomales Bay area up north.) Its raw bar at the Ferry Building along the Embarcadero draws crowds of regulars and tourists every day, but especially when they offer their $1 oyster happy hour.

On Mondays and Thursdays, get there early if you expect to find a seat at the granite bar (or maybe at a seat outside if the weather is nice). They don’t take reservations, so you just sign up on the list at the front and wait. I got there at exactly 5 p.m. and the bar was nearly full already with diners who had been eating earlier, but I was able to sneak onto an empty stool at the bar.

There’s only one variety offered for the $1 deal, and today it was Hog Island’s sweetwaters. The happy hour menu also includes $3.50 pint beer on draft and a couple of appetizer specials. My dozen oysters came with a mignonette and a wedge of lemon and lime.

The sweetwaters were very interesting. Alone, they were salty like the sea. But when I dipped them in the mignonette, the flavor softened and became more rounded and creamy.

The Good: Fresh oysters and great view
The Bad: Because of the crowd, service can be mixed. One server who seated me was curt while the server who took my order was friendly.

Tuesday: Woodhouse Fish Co.
Location: 2073 Market St. (near Church), San Francisco
PH: 415.437.CRAB
Web site: www.woodhousefish.com
Time available: Tuesdays, 4 to closing
What I ordered: Half a dozen oysters, bay shrimp and avocado sandwich, draft beer
Total* paid: $19.95

This neighborhood seafood joint near the Castro reminds me of some place in New England with all its fishing paraphernalia hanging around. It’s the kind of place where you would order fish and chips (if you were the kind of guy who’s into fried foods).

I took a seat at the tiny counter (only four stools) and ordered half a dozen of the day’s special oysters, which were Fanny Bay oysters from Washington state. I also got a happy hour pint of Sierra Nevada ($4).

The problem with $1 oysters at a restaurant rather than a bar is you end up feeling the need to eat more. So I ended up making it an early dinner and ordered the bay shrimp and avocado sandwich ($9.95). The sandwich was overflowing with shrimp and avocado and was served in a nicely toasted bun. It was simple but delicious.

For the oysters, the Fanny Bay variety was plump but more beige in color. It lacked a briny flavor, but it didn’t matter because I kicked it up with the super cocktail sauce served with a heaping dollop of horseradish.

The Good: I love eating oysters with cocktail sauce and horseradish, which is the only way they’re served at Woodhouse.
The Bad: The French fries that came with my sandwich was a bit soft. (Not that I would have eaten all of it, but I tested them for you guys.)

Wednesday: Hyde Street Seafood House
Location: 1509 Hyde St. (between Jackson and Pacific), San Francisco
PH: 415.931.FISH
Web site: www.hydestseafoodhouse.com
Time available: Daily, 5 to 7 p.m.
What I ordered: Dozen oysters and a glass of Riesling
Total* paid: $19.50

Hyde Street Seafood has the old world charms of the neighborhoods it’s in, nestled between Nob Hill and Russian Hill in the city. The dark wood paneling and fish mounted on the walls give off the feel of a smoke room, and the quiet, tiny bar comes off like the lobby of a forgotten hotel.

Despite the dark and quiet, I ventured there to try out their $1 oysters, which conveniently you have a pick of three varieties. Not convenient is the fact that you have to order by the dozen, so no half dozen or 13 if you felt inclined. It has to be a dozen every time, although you can mix and match the varieties. I found the dozen minimum a bit annoying because really the promotion should be “a dozen oysters for $12” instead of “$1 oysters.”

Anywho, I ordered four of each of the three varieties offered this night—Barron Point (from Washington state), Point Reyes (from up north) and Fanny Bay (a really popular oyster right now from Washington). I also ordered a glass of the 2007 Riesling from Rundolf Muller in Germany ($7.50).

The oysters were served with a mignonette and a cocktail sauce with horseradish. The Fanny Bay were delicious, but I didn’t really care for the small and often broken pieces of Point Reyes and I definitely didn’t enjoy the Barron Point, which were tiny and flat like pieces of moss instead of oysters.

The Good: Nightly oysters with 3 choices
The Bad: Stale horseradish, dingy settings and stupid dozen-minimum order requirement

Thursday: Café Rouge
Location: 1782 4th St., Berkeley
PH: 510.525.2712
Web site: www.caferouge.net
Time available: Tues. to Thurs., 5:30 to 9 p.m.
What I ordered: Dozen oysters and glass of 2007 Sauvignon Blanc
Total* paid: $23.50

Café Rouge is a festive restaurant in the Fourth Street Shopping District in Berkeley, and it has a long bar with a raw bar at the end.

The restaurant offered a $1 oyster Wednesday for awhile but has now expanded it to Tuesday and Thursday. It also offers three choices for the $1 oysters (just like Hyde Street Seafood but without the dozen minimum requirement). On this night, they offered Chelsea Gem, Marin Miyagi and Hog Island Sweetwater.

I started by ordering two of each to try. The Marin Miyagi sat in long narrow shells and were salty like the sea. The Hog Island Sweetwaters were on the bland side, not as salty as the versions I got at the Hog Island Oyster Co. at the Ferry Building. The best for the night, I felt, were the Chelsea Gems, which were small but plump, sort of like the popular kumamotos. They tasted clean and fresh with a slight hint of the sea. I liked them so much I ordered another half dozen.

The oysters are served with a simple mignonette, which looked like it was made with sweet rice vinegar. I washed my oysters down with a glass of 2007 Sauvignon Blanc from Chotard Sancerre Loire (which at $11.50 a glass cost almost as much as the oysters).

The Good: Friendly service and I like having a choice for the $1 oysters
The Bad: Location a bit out of the way when looking for happy hour

Friday: Bacar
Location: 448 Brannan St. (near 3rd), San Francisco
PH: 415.904.4100
Web site: www.bacarsf.com
Time available: Mon. to Fri., 4:30 to 6 p.m.
What I ordered: Half a dozen oysters, meatball appetizer, glass of Sauvignon Blanc
Total* paid: $15.00

This once-fancy SOMA restaurant and wine lounge has gone through some changes lately as it tries to gain back some of its luster from the dot-com days. But there’s no denying they have a great happy hour. Not only do they serve $1 oysters but its bar bites are 50 percent off.

The restaurant with exposed brick is broken into three areas—the main dining room, a downstairs wine lounge and a small bar area to the right of the entrance. This is where I sat after work Friday, looking for some $1 oysters. The variety for that night was Miyagi Gems, and I ordered half a dozen along with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc from Austria (it was the happy hour wine special for $5).

I also ordered the tomato braised meatballs ($4), which were served with baked polenta cakes.

The oysters were fresh and plump, and served with cocktail sauce and a red vinegar mignonette. I liked the meatballs but the polenta cake was a bit stale.

The Good: Fresh oysters and friendly bartenders
The Bad: Popular spot for happy hour so it gets crowded, making it difficult to walk through the maze of tables and chairs tightly packed in the bar area.

Saturday: Sea Salt
Location: 2512 San Pablo Ave. (at Dwight), Berkeley
PH: 510.883.1720
Web site: www.seasaltrestaurant.com
Time available: Daily, 3 to 6 p.m.
What I ordered: Half a dozen oysters, hamachi collar appetizer, clam chowder and draft beer
Total* paid: $27.00

Sea Salt is a seafood restaurant I’ve been meaning to try, and it was definitely a convenient spot to hunt down oysters since they have $1 oysters every day starting as early as 3 p.m.

I arrived on a Saturday night around 5:30 p.m. and the tiny bar at the front was already filled. I almost lost hope that I wouldn’t be able to get $1 oysters on a Saturday night until I realized that the restaurant has an additional counter seat area in the back with way more stools than the tiny bar.

The counter, which was like a lunch counter at a diner, turned out to be the best spot to eat oysters because you’re right at the raw bar and the open kitchen where you get a show of the restaurant’s chef preparing the dishes to order.

There’s only one option for the $1 oysters. On the night I was there, they were offering Triton Cove variety, but ran out. So instead my server sold me Miyagi Gems, so I ordered half a dozen. I decided to make it a Saturday night dinner so I also ordered the clam chowder ($9) and a selection from the small plates menu, the hamachi collar ($9).

For Sea Salt’s happy hour, they also offer draft beer at $3 and well drinks for $5. I got a pint of Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale.

The oysters were served with a garlicky mignonette (a bit salty) and cocktail sauce. I felt the clam chowder was really watery despite having a lot of clams and other ingredients. I was intrigued with the idea of eating the hamachi collar, but I realize I like hamachi better raw in sushi than cooked up and topped with red bellpepper salsa and greens.

The Good: Fun counter seating and early oyster happy hour
The Bad: Thin clam chowder

Sunday: EOS Restaurant and Wine Salon
Location: 901 Cole St. (at Carl), San Francisco
PH: 415.566.3063
Web site: www.eossf.com
Time available: Sun. to Thu., 5:30 to 7 p.m.
What I ordered: Dozen oysters, mushroom risotto and glasses of red and white wine
Total* paid: $34.00

EOS’s $1 oyster specials got me out to visit Cole Valley, which is a popular old neighborhood in San Francisco that the residents love but I found to be really tiny. In fact, when I got to the restaurant too early, I had to walk around a few times around the block to kill time until they opened and there were very few shops to check out. I’m pretty sure several neighbors called the police thinking I was scouting the joint.

The wine bar section of the restaurant opened up first, and it actually filled up pretty quick after 5:30 p.m. I got a bar table by the window and ordered a dozen of the $1 oysters. Only one variety is offered but I couldn’t understand what the waitress was saying. I think she said “canal” from Washington State.

The oysters came out in a long trough with mignonette and cocktail sauce. They were in a variety of shapes and sizes, some big and some small. I was surprised they were all the same variety. Although fresh, I felt the oysters were a bit dirty. I kept getting bits of flakes from the shell in my mouth as I ate them. I washed the oysters down with a glass of the white wine special, a 2006 Pinot Grigio from San Gimignano, Italy ($5).

The restaurant was one of the early Asian fusion restaurants, and it still carries many of that influence today. For happy hour, you can order some small plates in the $5 to $10 range, a red and white wine special, $5 well drinks and $6 sake special.

I ended up ordering off the regular menu and got a plate of the wild mushroom risotto ($12), which I ate with a glass of the red wine special ($5, I forgot what it was). It was very enjoyable and filling.

The Good: Interesting restaurant menu if you decide to venture beyond the $1 oysters
The Bad: Oyster shells not cleaned very well, so you might get some flakes while eating

* excludes tax and tip

Just so you know, I visited these places on various days over the last two weeks (I didn’t eat oysters every night for one week straight because my schedule didn’t allow that nor did I think that would be good for my cholesterol.) So by my count, that’s five and a half dozen oysters over a two week period. There were definitely some fun spots I would go back again, and others I would definitely skip. But it’s nice to know that, yes, you can get $1 oysters somewhere in the Bay Area any day of the week.

Here’s a question for you: Are you a slurper or a picker? Do you eat your oysters by picking up the shell and slurping down all the gooey goodness? Or do you use the little fork and pick up the oyster and then place it in your mouth? During my oyster-eating adventure, I did a variety of things. Slurping at times to get some of the oyster wash and other times picking with the fork. Sometimes I ate them plain, with a squeeze of lemon, or with the mignonette or cocktail sauce. (I’m a big cocktail sauce fan so that’s how I generally prefer to eat my oysters.)

So how do you eat your oysters? Slurp or pick?

Looks like I'm not the only one with $1 oysters on his mind. This post came in today as well from Bay Area Bites.

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